Incidents of Sexting Raise Troubling Questions

Let's talk about sexting, baby.

It started when 13-year old Hope Witsell used her iPhone to send a photo  of her naked breasts to a boy. She saw it as innocent flirting but the photo was intercepted by a rival classmate, who forwarded the photo to dozens of their peers, and it ended when Hope committed suicide on Sept. 11. Her death is being heralded as the second (behind Jessie Logan, who hung herself in July of 2008) “sexting suicide,” referring to the phenomena of teenagers snapping nude pictures of themselves and sending them via cellphone, often with accompanying, racy text messages.

However, to classify the tragic deaths of Hope and Jessie as the result of sexting is inaccurate, as Cara Kulwick of The Curvature argues.

“…while the media insists on calling this a “sexting-related suicide,” it’s much more accurately referred to as a “slut-shaming suicide.” Because the photograph she sent is not what drove this poor girl to kill herself — the non-consensual spreading of the photograph, and the subsequent reaction that her classmates and all adults in positions of authority had to it seems to absolutely have been what drove her to despair. And that is a truly vital distinction to make if we actually care about the fact that a 13-year-old girl is dead, and why.”

And it’s not an issue specific to young girls snapping nude photos of themselves and forwarding them on to peers.

Two years ago, Butler Community College student Emily Sander was abducted and murdered in El Dorado, Kansas. What caught the attention of the media was not the horrific way in which Sander was raped and ultimately killed, but that she lead a double-life as Zoey Zane, an alter-ego willing to strip for the camera to pay for college. Though her career was debunked as playing a role in her death, the obsessive linking of the two nevertheless offered a fascinating commentary on America’s love-hate relationship with sexuality and young women. Earlier this year, Julissa Brisman was allegedly murdered by Philip Markoff after connecting through the ‘Erotic Services’ section of Craigslist. Brisman, who worked as an erotic masseuse, has been largely exploited by the media in the wake of her death.

Yet the message for women is irrevocably clear: explore your sexuality, especially in the digital playground of the Internet or cellphones, and you’re going to face consequences.

Parry Aftab, a cyberbullying expert who founded WiredSafety who has paired up with both Cynthia Logan and the Witsells, argues that the new wave of electronic expression is causing the slippery slope into sexual deviance among teens, insisting “…we are seeing a lot of kids who are sexually active.”

Jessica Valenti, author of The Purity Myth and Executive Editor of Feministing, comments that sexuality in the young is a dicey issue for individuals who view the slightest expression–a kiss between friends, a pair of stacked heels, a sexy pose–as the path to promiscuity.

“There’s no in-between for them, there’s no complexity or nuance when it comes to sexuality. And that’s why I wanted to write this book. Seriously, these bloggers are making my point for me! So for the record: I think virginity is fine, just as I think having sex is fine. I don’t really care what women do sexually, and neither should you. In fact, that’s the point. I believe that a young woman’s sexual choices – no matter what they be – shouldn’t have a bearing on how they’re seen as moral actors.”

In fact, studies are suggesting the simple expression of sexuality may ultimately be beneficial for teens. In her article “Some Say It’s Okay for Girls to Go Wild,” ABCNews’ Sheila Marikar interviews psychologists and professors who dismiss today’s teenagers as more precocious than generations past. Instead, today’s teens are more determined than ever to declare their independence, and sexuality can often be key to that freedom (and not to rainbow parties, as Dr. Phil would have us believe).

But it’s a “don’t ask, don’t tell” culture, and the Hope Witsells, Jessica Logans, and Emily Sanders of the world are putting it out there for all to see. While American parents lobby under the myth that parental filters on computers, purity rings and abstinence-only education policies are keeping teens safe, the reality is far more disturbing with higher rates of risky behaviors and sexually-transmitted diseases.

Worse, it’s a behavior that’s starting to get criminalized. So far, several teenage girls have been arrested for sending nude photographs of themselves to classmates, with the charges ranging from possession of child pornography to sexual abuse of children. While some individuals are fighting back, the decision has been defended by conservative forces looking to bring an end to the sexual culture promoted by iPhones, MySpace, and Twitter.

“There’s a totally false perception among juveniles that there is no risk to this,” Ohio prosecutor Ken Oswalt, who charged one of the girls, told ABCNews.com. “That picture, once taken and sent, gives anyone who receives it the ability to do anything with it, forever. If a picture of you found its way onto the Internet, that’s going to haunt you, potentially forever.”

There’s something to be said about the haunting permanency of a sexual misconduct conviction as well. Girls taking charge of their budding sexuality can be dragged into court, found guilty of child-porn possession and face the full extent of the law, which could mean registering as a sex offender. Somehow, the irony seems lost on Oswalt and the other troops demanding an overhaul of a system that routinely ignores sexuality.

Except that, when it comes to the sexuality of females and young girls in particular, the system does anything but ignore it. What’s happening here isn’t a tougher stand on child pornography, but the complete policing of sexuality. As Kulwick rightly points out, Jesse Logan and Hope Witsell didn’t commit suicide because they took nude photos of themselves; they committed suicide because of the bullying that accompanied the unauthorized spread of those photos by other parties. Kulwick suggests that such an action should itself be a crime, while others argue it’s a form of sexual assault.

The Internet will continue to be a haven of sorts for predators, but criminalizing the expression of sexuality will not protect the young from ultimately becoming victims. It will encourage them to be less forthcoming with the issues surrounding that expression in their private lives (remember, the family of Emily Sander discovered her Zoey Zane alter-ego while watching the media coverage surrounding her disappearance) and potentially be more  susceptible to victimization. In issues of silence, the same culture that teaches boys that “no means yes” and “submission equals consent,” not talking about sex and the potential danger of violence hidden within it is the single greatest threat to the safety of girls and young women.

Especially as the world remains so polarized on the issue of sexuality. American citizen Amanda Knox was convicted in Italy of murder due, in part, to her apparently transparent sexuality; her MySpace handle declared her “Foxy Knoxy.”

The path to enlightenment is not an easy one, but it is a necessary one. First, the dualistic thinking–that sexuality of females is either virginal or whorish–needs to come to a swift end. Females are worth more than their broken or intact hymen, their vocal or muted expression of sexuality. Only when we truly adopt this philosophy, to stop complimenting Taylor Swift’s wholesome facade while criticizing Katy Perry’s manufactured rebelliousness, will we see actual sex crimes take precedence over the criminalizing of normal sexual development. When we understand that “whore,” “slut” and “man-eater” are not empowering terms (or catchy in rap lyrics) we will see substantial change in how the expression of teenage sexuality is accepted.

Hopefully, we’ll see an end to the number of teenagers dead by slut-shaming.

WEIGH IN: Should “sexting” by teens be criminalized? How are you helping to end slut-shaming?